长一点的英语笑话

Question

不要太难，有中文翻译。

Answer 1

Where is rice from?
One day, a man named Ai Zi said to the rich man, "Your sons are so stupid and know nothing about the world. How can they take your property over after your death?" Hearing these words, the rich man became a little bit angry. The father said, "Everyone says my sons are very smart and praises them for their good virtue. What you say is sheer nonsense!" "Then let"s test them. Ok?" Ai Zi suggested. The rich man agreed. The father called his two sons before Ai Zi, who asked the question, "Do you know where rice comes from?" The elder son smiled and answered, "Anyone with sense knows the answer, that rice comes from the kitchen." The younger son blinked and said, "You"re wrong! How can you say rice comes from the kitchen! It indeed comes from the bag." The rich man looked at his sons and turned red with anger. "You both are so silly! Why don"t you ask me when you don"t know the right answer? You are both wrong! Rice comes neither from the kitchen nor from the bag, it comes from the barn!" The moral of the story is that one may do foolish things when he pretends to know the things he is actually ignorant of.
米从何来
齐国有一个富翁，他有两个儿子，一个比一个愚笨。可是富翁还是把两个儿子视为掌上明珠。 一天， 艾子对富翁说：“您这两位少爷整天糊里糊涂，以后怎么接管家业呢？” 富翁听了很不高兴，说：“真是岂有此理，我的儿子多聪明呀，当面谁不夸他们聪明过人！” 艾子笑道：“那我们来考考他们吧？”富翁同意了。 于是富翁把两个儿子找来。艾子问：“你们说大米从哪儿来的？” 老大嘿嘿一笑，说：“这谁不知道！是从厨房来的呗！” 老二眨巴眨巴眼睛说：“不对！怎么是从厨房来的呢？大米是从口袋倒出来的。” 富翁看看老大，又看看老二，气得涨红了脸，骂道：“两个蠢材，不知道也不问问我，怎么可以在客人面前胡说呢？告诉你们，大米不是从厨房来的，也不是从口袋倒出来的，是从咱们的粮仓来的。”

Answer 2

一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”

“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。

“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”

A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.