▇█▇▆200分▄▃▂▁征集英文笑话啦▁▂▃▄200分▅▆▇▇█
▇█▇▆200分▄▃▂▁征集英文笑话啦▁▂▃▄200分▅▆▇▇█
不怕多,别给我网址.帮忙复制过来! 谢谢
最好能把我笑到肚子疼. 哈哈 谢谢哦~~!~!~!
" _ <
最好带汉语翻译的谢谢了. 不带也没关系 我自己慢慢翻译吧. 尽力
这分得一点一点加啊 肯定给200 我还会追加分哦 谢谢了
怎么就这几个人帮我找啊 5555555555555555
第1个回答 2007-08-31
1、 一人在办公室老是放响屁，同事忍不住说：你能不能不出声？然后便见他坐在
那摇来晃去抖个不停，问：干什么？回答说：我调成振动的了.
2、一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药
处一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！
3、某人第一次见到大海，感叹道：“大海啊！母亲！”话音刚落，一个浪头打过
来，正好打在他的脸上，此人怒道：“**！还他****是个后妈！
4、猴子拣到一个卡，于是爬到树枝上想看清楚是啥卡。不料一个雷击中了它，猴
子哭着说：“原来是‘IP’（挨劈）卡呀！！”
5、食人族父子打猎，其子擒一瘦子，其父曰：放，没肉！其子又擒一胖子，其父
曰：放，太腻！其子又擒一美女，其父曰：带回家，晚上把你妈吃了！
6、 男人有外遇之症状：公司天天加班，家务从来不沾，手机回家就关，短信回完
就删，上床呼噜震天，内裤经常反穿。对照检查符合三条属于疑似，四条可确诊。
7、某君开车内急 情急之下尿在空雪碧瓶里
趁堵车时奔下车想把瓶仍到垃圾桶里被一敬职的巡警拦住 瓶里装的啥 喝剩的雪碧
8、食人族父子打猎，其子擒一瘦子，其父曰：放，没肉！其子又擒一胖子，其父
曰：放，太腻！其子又擒一美女，其父曰：带回家，晚上把你妈吃了！
9、一条警犬看到马路上过来一条普通狗，就气势凶凶地跑去质问它：我是警犬，
你 是什么东西？普通狗不屑一顾地看看它说：蠢货，看清楚点，老子是便衣！
10、儿子每晚要和妈妈睡。
妈说：你长大了娶了媳妇也和妈睡呀？
儿答：嗯！
妈说：那你媳妇咋办？
儿说：让她跟爸睡。
爸听后激动的说：这孩子从小就懂事！
那摇来晃去抖个不停，问：干什么？回答说：我调成振动的了.
2、一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药
处一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！
3、某人第一次见到大海，感叹道：“大海啊！母亲！”话音刚落，一个浪头打过
来，正好打在他的脸上，此人怒道：“**！还他****是个后妈！
4、猴子拣到一个卡，于是爬到树枝上想看清楚是啥卡。不料一个雷击中了它，猴
子哭着说：“原来是‘IP’（挨劈）卡呀！！”
5、食人族父子打猎，其子擒一瘦子，其父曰：放，没肉！其子又擒一胖子，其父
曰：放，太腻！其子又擒一美女，其父曰：带回家，晚上把你妈吃了！
6、 男人有外遇之症状：公司天天加班，家务从来不沾，手机回家就关，短信回完
就删，上床呼噜震天，内裤经常反穿。对照检查符合三条属于疑似，四条可确诊。
7、某君开车内急 情急之下尿在空雪碧瓶里
趁堵车时奔下车想把瓶仍到垃圾桶里被一敬职的巡警拦住 瓶里装的啥 喝剩的雪碧
8、食人族父子打猎，其子擒一瘦子，其父曰：放，没肉！其子又擒一胖子，其父
曰：放，太腻！其子又擒一美女，其父曰：带回家，晚上把你妈吃了！
9、一条警犬看到马路上过来一条普通狗，就气势凶凶地跑去质问它：我是警犬，
你 是什么东西？普通狗不屑一顾地看看它说：蠢货，看清楚点，老子是便衣！
10、儿子每晚要和妈妈睡。
妈说：你长大了娶了媳妇也和妈睡呀？
儿答：嗯！
妈说：那你媳妇咋办？
儿说：让她跟爸睡。
爸听后激动的说：这孩子从小就懂事！
第2个回答 2007-08-28
Parrot
Jerry received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive（咒骂语）. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least， very rude.
Jerry tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and became even more rude. Finally in a moment of desperation. Jerry put the parrot in the FREEZER.
For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly, there was a quiet-----
-Not a sound for half a minute. Jerry was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The Parrot calmly stepped out onto Jerry's extended arm and said: "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."
Jerry was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made the difference and caused such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did???"一个小伙子在生日那天收到礼物，是一只会说话的鹦鹉。可是很快发现这只鹦鹉满嘴脏话，非常粗鲁，而且根本不懂礼貌。他决心改变鹦鹉。每天对它说礼貌用语，教它文雅的词汇，放轻柔的音乐，可是一点用也没有，鹦鹉仍是满嘴下流话。他生气地冲着鹦鹉喊，鹦鹉冲着他喊得更响。一次，他气极了，把鹦鹉扔进冰箱里。几秒种后，他听到鹦鹉在里面扑腾，叫喊，咒骂。突然，安静下来了，一点声儿也没有。半分钟过去了，还是没声。他担心鹦鹉给冻坏了，马上打开冰箱。鹦鹉平静地走出来，乖乖地站到他胳膊上，用非常诚恳的口气说：“很抱歉我惹你生气了，以前是我做得不对，我决定痛改前非，再不说脏话了，请你原谅我。”小伙子惊异于鹦鹉的转变，还没来得及说什么，鹦鹉接着说道：“我能问问里面那只鸡做错了什么吗？”
Jerry received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive（咒骂语）. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least， very rude.
Jerry tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and became even more rude. Finally in a moment of desperation. Jerry put the parrot in the FREEZER.
For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly, there was a quiet-----
-Not a sound for half a minute. Jerry was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The Parrot calmly stepped out onto Jerry's extended arm and said: "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."
Jerry was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made the difference and caused such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did???"一个小伙子在生日那天收到礼物，是一只会说话的鹦鹉。可是很快发现这只鹦鹉满嘴脏话，非常粗鲁，而且根本不懂礼貌。他决心改变鹦鹉。每天对它说礼貌用语，教它文雅的词汇，放轻柔的音乐，可是一点用也没有，鹦鹉仍是满嘴下流话。他生气地冲着鹦鹉喊，鹦鹉冲着他喊得更响。一次，他气极了，把鹦鹉扔进冰箱里。几秒种后，他听到鹦鹉在里面扑腾，叫喊，咒骂。突然，安静下来了，一点声儿也没有。半分钟过去了，还是没声。他担心鹦鹉给冻坏了，马上打开冰箱。鹦鹉平静地走出来，乖乖地站到他胳膊上，用非常诚恳的口气说：“很抱歉我惹你生气了，以前是我做得不对，我决定痛改前非，再不说脏话了，请你原谅我。”小伙子惊异于鹦鹉的转变，还没来得及说什么，鹦鹉接着说道：“我能问问里面那只鸡做错了什么吗？”
第3个回答 2007-08-28
1． we two who and who？
咱俩谁跟谁阿
2． how are you ? how old are you?
怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3． you don't bird me,I don't bird you
你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4． you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers！together up ！
你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
5． hello everybody!if you have something to say,they say! if you have nothing to say,go home!!
有事起奏，无事退朝
6． you me you me
彼此彼此
7． You Give Me Stop!!
你给我站住！
8． know is know noknow is noknow
知之为知之，不知为不知…
9． WATCH SISTER
表妹
10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse's sons can make hole!!
龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！
11．American Chinese not enough
美中不足
12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die
车祸现场描述
13．heart flower angry open
心花怒放
14．go past no mistake past
走过路过，不要错过
15．小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
16.If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有，要命一条
17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.
我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son。
你有两下子。
19．as far as you go to die
有多远，死多远！！！！
20．I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face
给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸
我空间里的
咱俩谁跟谁阿
2． how are you ? how old are you?
怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3． you don't bird me,I don't bird you
你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4． you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers！together up ！
你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
5． hello everybody!if you have something to say,they say! if you have nothing to say,go home!!
有事起奏，无事退朝
6． you me you me
彼此彼此
7． You Give Me Stop!!
你给我站住！
8． know is know noknow is noknow
知之为知之，不知为不知…
9． WATCH SISTER
表妹
10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse's sons can make hole!!
龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！
11．American Chinese not enough
美中不足
12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die
车祸现场描述
13．heart flower angry open
心花怒放
14．go past no mistake past
走过路过，不要错过
15．小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
16.If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有，要命一条
17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.
我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son。
你有两下子。
19．as far as you go to die
有多远，死多远！！！！
20．I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face
给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸
我空间里的
第4个回答 2007-08-31
黑人给白人的一封信
Dear white, something you got to know
亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
When I was born, I was black.
当我出生时，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我长大了，我是黑色的
When I’m under the sun, I’m black.
我在阳光下，我是黑色的
When I’m cold, I’m black.
我寒冷时，我是黑色的
When I’m afraid, I’m black.
我害怕时，我是黑色
When I’m sick, I’m black.
我生病了，我是黑色的
When I die, I’m still black.
我死了，我仍是黑色的。
you---white people,
你---白种人
When you were born, you were pink.
当你出生时，你是粉红色的
When you grow up, you become white.
你长大了，变成白色的
You’re red under the sun.
你在阳光下，你是红色的
You’re blue when you’re cold.
你寒冷时，你是青色的
You are yellow when you’re afraid.
你害怕时，你是黄色的
You’re green when you’re sick.
你生病时，你是绿色的
You’re gray when you die.
当你死时，你是灰色的
And you, call me "color"?
而你，却叫我「有色人种」？
一秒钟与一百万
A Second and A Million Dollars
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
奇怪的关系：Work and Babies
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Dear white, something you got to know
亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
When I was born, I was black.
当我出生时，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我长大了，我是黑色的
When I’m under the sun, I’m black.
我在阳光下，我是黑色的
When I’m cold, I’m black.
我寒冷时，我是黑色的
When I’m afraid, I’m black.
我害怕时，我是黑色
When I’m sick, I’m black.
我生病了，我是黑色的
When I die, I’m still black.
我死了，我仍是黑色的。
you---white people,
你---白种人
When you were born, you were pink.
当你出生时，你是粉红色的
When you grow up, you become white.
你长大了，变成白色的
You’re red under the sun.
你在阳光下，你是红色的
You’re blue when you’re cold.
你寒冷时，你是青色的
You are yellow when you’re afraid.
你害怕时，你是黄色的
You’re green when you’re sick.
你生病时，你是绿色的
You’re gray when you die.
当你死时，你是灰色的
And you, call me "color"?
而你，却叫我「有色人种」？
一秒钟与一百万
A Second and A Million Dollars
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
奇怪的关系：Work and Babies
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
第5个回答 2007-08-28
面试人员给一位前来应征的男士一张履历表，于是就填了这样的信息——
姓名：English or Chinese�英文的还是中文的？
年龄：Confidential（这是私人问题）
身高：Not related to the job（这跟工作有关系么）
体重：Varies all the time before lunch or after（随时改变，饭前饭后都不同）
居住地：At what stage of my life please be more specific（那是一个特别的地方，我生命的舞台）
电话：Ericsson（爱立信手机）
电子邮件：Only give to pretty and rich girls（只留给漂亮和富有的女孩）
上班时间：The shorter the better（越短越好）
应征职位：A position that has not much to do but surround by pretty and young girls（找一个不做什么实事，但能被美女包围的职位）
学历：Graduated at the wild chicken university（毕业于一个你找不着的大学）
语言能力：Fluent in bullshits（侃大山是专长）
兴趣：Sleeping and sleeping（睡得天昏地暗）
生日：正月初七
经历：Fooling around all the time（游戏人生）
曾任职位：Decent or not decent�please be more specific（高级的或者低级的都是一种经历）
已婚未婚：Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl�hopefully can find in your company（我正在寻找漂亮又富有的女孩，希望在你们公司能找到）
未来期望：Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible（只负责主席台讲话，并且希望尽早退休）
* Dear wang litte sister:
* 亲爱的王小姐
* From see you one eye,I shit love you.
* 自从看到你的第一眼,我便爱上你。
* Your eyes close, I die; your eyes open, I come back to live.
* Your eyes close and open again and again, I die again and again.
* 你的眼睛闭上，我就死了，你的眼睛打开，我又活过来，
* 你的眼睛贬啊贬,我就死去活来?
* Maybe you do not remember me, no matter.
* When you carefully look at me, you will one see clock.
* 也许你不记得我,没有关系,当你仔细看着我，你就会一见钟情.
* I think l should introduce myself to you.
* 我想应该介绍一下自己。
* I call Li big great. Toyear 25
* 我叫李大伟,今年25(今天是today,那么今年就是toyear.至于伟就翻成great吧 ！)
* My home have four mouth people-papa, mama, I and DD.
* 我家有四口人..爸爸、妈妈、我和弟弟。
* I am a good man, in a big company work.
* 我是一个好男人，在一家大公司上班。
* I do early fuck every day,so that I can have strong body to protect you.
* 我每天都做早操，这样我会有强壮的身体来保护你。
* Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my hair to be a
monk,
* and find a place where many monks live in to over mylife;
* 请嫁给我吧,否则我将削发为僧,找个庙来了此一生。
* (实在想不起「嫁」字怎么翻译，好在头脑灵光,嫁过来不就是和我吃住在一起。
* 至于「庙」字,也不会翻译，不过很多和尚住在一起的地方，就是庙。)
* Like Your people
* 喜欢你的人
* .........原来"做早操"的英文是"make early > > fuck"...................
调查员:What is your father's name?
: 小 弟:Happy!!
: 调查员:What is your mother's name?
: 小 弟:Smile!
: 调查员:Are you joking?
: 小 弟:No!!That's my sister!! I am Kidding!!
: byebye
Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"
姓名：English or Chinese�英文的还是中文的？
年龄：Confidential（这是私人问题）
身高：Not related to the job（这跟工作有关系么）
体重：Varies all the time before lunch or after（随时改变，饭前饭后都不同）
居住地：At what stage of my life please be more specific（那是一个特别的地方，我生命的舞台）
电话：Ericsson（爱立信手机）
电子邮件：Only give to pretty and rich girls（只留给漂亮和富有的女孩）
上班时间：The shorter the better（越短越好）
应征职位：A position that has not much to do but surround by pretty and young girls（找一个不做什么实事，但能被美女包围的职位）
学历：Graduated at the wild chicken university（毕业于一个你找不着的大学）
语言能力：Fluent in bullshits（侃大山是专长）
兴趣：Sleeping and sleeping（睡得天昏地暗）
生日：正月初七
经历：Fooling around all the time（游戏人生）
曾任职位：Decent or not decent�please be more specific（高级的或者低级的都是一种经历）
已婚未婚：Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl�hopefully can find in your company（我正在寻找漂亮又富有的女孩，希望在你们公司能找到）
未来期望：Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible（只负责主席台讲话，并且希望尽早退休）
* Dear wang litte sister:
* 亲爱的王小姐
* From see you one eye,I shit love you.
* 自从看到你的第一眼,我便爱上你。
* Your eyes close, I die; your eyes open, I come back to live.
* Your eyes close and open again and again, I die again and again.
* 你的眼睛闭上，我就死了，你的眼睛打开，我又活过来，
* 你的眼睛贬啊贬,我就死去活来?
* Maybe you do not remember me, no matter.
* When you carefully look at me, you will one see clock.
* 也许你不记得我,没有关系,当你仔细看着我，你就会一见钟情.
* I think l should introduce myself to you.
* 我想应该介绍一下自己。
* I call Li big great. Toyear 25
* 我叫李大伟,今年25(今天是today,那么今年就是toyear.至于伟就翻成great吧 ！)
* My home have four mouth people-papa, mama, I and DD.
* 我家有四口人..爸爸、妈妈、我和弟弟。
* I am a good man, in a big company work.
* 我是一个好男人，在一家大公司上班。
* I do early fuck every day,so that I can have strong body to protect you.
* 我每天都做早操，这样我会有强壮的身体来保护你。
* Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my hair to be a
monk,
* and find a place where many monks live in to over mylife;
* 请嫁给我吧,否则我将削发为僧,找个庙来了此一生。
* (实在想不起「嫁」字怎么翻译，好在头脑灵光,嫁过来不就是和我吃住在一起。
* 至于「庙」字,也不会翻译，不过很多和尚住在一起的地方，就是庙。)
* Like Your people
* 喜欢你的人
* .........原来"做早操"的英文是"make early > > fuck"...................
调查员:What is your father's name?
: 小 弟:Happy!!
: 调查员:What is your mother's name?
: 小 弟:Smile!
: 调查员:Are you joking?
: 小 弟:No!!That's my sister!! I am Kidding!!
: byebye
Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"
▇█▇▆200分▄▃▂▁征集英文笑话啦▁▂▃▄200分▅▆▇▇█
▇█▇▆200分▄▃▂▁征集英文笑话啦▁▂▃▄200分▅▆▇▇█ 不怕多,别给我网址.帮忙复制过来! 谢谢最好能把我笑到肚子疼. 哈哈 谢谢哦~~!~!~!" _ <最好带汉语翻译的谢谢了. 不带也没关系 我自己慢慢翻译吧. 尽力这分得一点一点加啊 肯定给200 我还会追加分哦 谢谢了怎么就这几个人帮我找啊 ...
▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁ 这个是怎么打的
用QQ拼音输入法打“i”找到（符号&表情），然后点一下，就有很多符号和表情有个就有▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█了。
▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█北●美●洲●的●地●理●位●置█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁
位于西半球北部。东濒大西洋，西临太平洋，北濒北冰洋，南以巴拿马运河为界与南美洲相分。大陆东至圣查尔斯角（西经55°40′，北纬52°13′），南至马里亚托角（西经81°05′，北纬7°12′），西至威尔士王子角（西经168°05′，北纬65°37′），北至布西亚半岛的穆奇森角（西经94°26′，北纬71°...
怎么输入▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁这个符号?
▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁ 1 先选中这个符号 2 右键点击复制 3 点击粘贴 这些符号 是扩展ASCii中的码 可以用ASCii编码输入
█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁乘地铁到上海外滩▁▂▃▄▅▆
你在这里拐到中山东一路上去，然后往右走，和中山东一路在一条路上，就是中山东二路，没有拐，他俩连着。中山东一和东二路在地图上显示的，就在外滩旁边。 你在那里在问问好心的路人，上海轨道交通虽然很发达，但在市里，还是“交通基本靠走”的，多问问路人，避免少走弯路。祝你顺利抵达！
▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█100分《骆驼祥子》每章好词好句█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁
钱会把人引进恶劣的社会中去，把高尚的理想撇开，而甘心走入地狱中去。为金钱而工作的，怕遇到更多的金钱，忠诚不立在金钱上。爱与不爱，穷人得在金钱上决定、"情种"只生在大富之家。经验是生活的肥料，有什么样的经验便变成什么样的人，在沙漠里养不出牡丹来 那辆车是他的一切挣扎与困苦的总结果...
█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁高分~求一句能让正在生气的人 能 马上消气 的话...
你生气的样子真可爱，我都忍不住想捏你脸一把...应该还不错吧，对我来说有效，不过要注意哦，要在对方不是生气到极端的时候说，开玩笑式说，多想些，多逗逗她，应该就好...若是真的气到极端了，那只能就事论事，或者干脆就让她生气，人都有消气的时候，等她消气的时候再解释最好不过了...不...
█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁是怎么打出来的?
1.在Word文档中，在窗体最上端的主菜单栏上，有“插入”菜单项，只要用鼠标左键点击，就会出现下拉菜单，你就能看到“，特殊符号(Y)...” 这一菜单项，点击鼠标左键就可以选择你要插入的特殊符号了。2.打开输入法-在输入法状态中（就是输入法条，一个windows按钮，一个“全拼”或“五笔”按钮，...
█▇▆▅▄▃▂▁邮件自动回复▁▂▃▄▅▆
那也没办法了 给企业电话了或者等企业人员看到后再回你电话了
▁▂▃▄▅▆▇█▉什么意思
楼梯的意思
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