谁能将下面这文章翻译成英文?

Question

乙:大家好
甲:我表演相声
甲：我给大家介绍一下。
乙：介绍介绍。
甲：这个不是普通的演员。
乙：啊？
甲：是我们相声界的一个新秀。
乙：嗯。
甲：赵保乐赵先生。
乙：不敢当。我是小学生，我还要好好努力。
甲：……呵，谦孙。〔停顿〕为什么相声说得这么好？
乙：为什么？
甲：你对艺术有追求。
乙：我喜欢这个行业。
甲：你对艺术的追求，可以说是一丝不句。
乙：嗯？
甲：哦，对不起，错了，错了。您是一丝不挂。
乙：不……我什么都不穿啦我？怎么说话的是？
甲：那是……
乙：到这儿你得说“苟”。
甲：……呵，我哪能这样称呼你？
乙：称呼我干嘛呀？就得说“苟”！
甲：那你爱听吗？
乙：当然爱听了。
甲：呵呵，狗先生。
乙：什么叫狗先生啊？
甲：那也不能叫你先生狗。您怎么说的……
乙：什么乱七八糟的？
甲：那这句话怎么说合适？
乙：一丝不句，不对；一丝不挂，也不对。这个成语叫一丝不苟。
甲：反正，反正我要向您学习。
乙：别客气。
甲：学习您待人接吻。
乙：不敢！！我吻谁，谁揍我！
甲：就是你会说……
乙：待人接物！
甲：反正我要拜您为师。
乙：你太客气了。
甲：收我这么一个学生。
乙：不敢当。
甲：我有点儿毛遂自存啦！
乙：毛……毛遂自荐。
甲：那我要见一见啦！
乙：你现在就够贱的了！
甲：我要把您请到我的家里去。
乙：哦。
甲：我向您求教吗？
乙：别客气。
甲：我好好地招待招待你，我给你准备一点儿……加啡。
乙：加啡呀？
甲：啊，巴西加啡。
乙：咖啡！
甲：咱们吃点儿水果好不好？
乙：好，喜欢吃水果。
甲：吃一点沙田轴子。
乙：咬不动。
甲：来点儿糖炒票子。
乙：糖炒栗子！
甲:哎哟，您年轻的时候上过学吗？上学你都学什么了？您不努力学习，这么大了，站在这儿满嘴白字，大伙儿都笑话你。
甲：谁有白字儿啊？
乙：你啊！
甲：堂堂的师胜杰，我能说出白字儿来，真是莫名其抄！
乙：莫名其抄？那叫莫名其妙。
甲：你在故意找我的破腚！
乙：破啊……破绽！
甲：你不要把我看得很幼雅。
乙：那叫幼稚！
甲：我每句话都经过深思热虑。
乙：熟虑！
甲：不热能熟吗？
乙：这哪儿来的这个？
甲：您不要同吓（音：下）我。
乙：恫吓（音：洞褐）！
甲：你瞧你威风禀禀。
乙：这叫禀禀啊？
甲：手舞足踏。
乙：这这……
甲：真是吹毛求屁！
乙：像话吗？！
请快一点!!
有急用
今天之前啊!!

Answer 1

强悍!!!

Answer 2

B: Good
A: I crosstalk performances
A: I will give you about.
B: Info.
A: This is not an ordinary actor.
B: ah?
A: We crosstalk sector is a rookie.
B: ah.
A: Zhao Bao Le Zhao.
B: not when. I am a primary, I would also like to make efforts.
A:…… uh,-Sun. [Pause] Why crosstalk put it so well?
B: Why?
A: You have the pursuit of the arts.
B: I like the industry.
A: Do you have the pursuit of art can be said to be not the slightest sentence.
B: ah?
A: Oh, I am sorry, wrong, wrong. You are naked.
B: I do not…… not what you wear me? How to speak yes?
A: That is……
B: here you have to say, "Gou."
A:…… uh, I call this How could you?
B: Title I doing way? Have to say "Gou!"
A: Then you listen to?
B: listen to the course.
A: Oh, Mr. dogs.
B: What is the dog, ah?
A: It can not call you, dog. You say how……
B: What messy?
A: Well, this remark how that appropriate?
B: not the slightest sentence, is wrong naked, nor right. This idiom is meticulous.
A: Anyway, I would like to you learn anyway.
B: Biekeqi.
A: The study you treat people kissing.
B: not! ! I kiss anyone who beat me!
A: You would say that……
B: Dairenchawu!
A: Anyway, I would like to thanks you for the division.
B: you too polite.
A: I am such a student admission.
B: not when.
A: I am a bit Maosui self-existence!
B: Gross…… offered itself.
A: Well, I have to见一见!
B: you are the cheap enough!
A: I want you to go to my home.
B: Oh.
A: I told you ask for advice?
B: Biekeqi.
A: I am a good reception in honor you, I am prepared to give you a little bit…… and brown.
B: Canadian brown ah?
A: ah, Baxijia brown.
B: Coffee!
A: Let's eat little fruit is good?
B: Well, likes to eat fruit.
A: eat something axis of Sha Tin.
B: Fixed bite.
A: The little sugar to Chaopiao son.
B: Tangchaoliezi!
A: Oh, you went to school when young? You learn what school? You sleep study, so, from here mouthful of white, Everyone is a joke you.
A: Who white Era?
B: Your ah!
A: A division Shengjie, I can say white children, is inexplicable its copy!
B: inexplicable its copy? Call baffling.
A: I find you deliberately broken Ding!
B: breaking…… flaws ah!
A: I do not see very young to Accor.
B: call naive!
A: I have been thought every word of concern.
B: cooked worry!
A: The heat is not cooked?
B: Where did this to this?
A: Do not threatened with the (Music: 2) I am.
B: intimidation (Music: brown hole)!
A: You have discovered your prestige petition petition.
B: What intrinsic petition ah?
A: Hand Dance Juta.
B: That this……
A: Chuimao is seeking Pi!
B: Xianghua? !