跪求各位帮我找个短点的英语小故事（笑话也行）

Answer 1

1.an absent-minded professor 健忘教授
No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."

毫无疑问，我的同事、Martin神父是个有点健忘的教授。他经常到别的教区给生病的牧师替班。一个周六，他又坐火车出发了，但到验票时，他却怎么都找不着放在衣服口袋里面的火车票。因为老坐火车，列车员认得教授，因此对他说，“不用找了，我想你肯定已经买过票了。”“我得把票找出来”，Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。
2.Six or Twelve?六还是十二？
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever eat twelve.”

一位金发女郎走进一家比萨店，她说想要一个中比萨，店员问她希望把比萨切成六块还是十二块。“噢，天啊，请帮我切成六块。”女郎说，“我可不认为我能吃得下十二块比萨。”
3.Your horse called 马打电话
Your horse called 你的马打电话来了
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."

He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问道：“这是为什么？”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条。”他说：“哎呀，亲爱的，‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。”她耸了耸肩，走了。 三天后他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问：“这又是为什么？”她答道：“你的马打电话来了。”
4.英文笑话：No Problem 没问题
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. "How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."

"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.

一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。发型师问：“有什么可以帮你吗？”那个人解释说：“我本来要去做头发移植，但实在太疼了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。”
“没问题，”发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头。

自己到那个网址上找吧,有好多呢.

参考资料：http://www.enfang.com/english/2007-04/10000.htm