请高手帮忙改改我英语作文中的错误,谢谢!

If I were a boy
I wish I were a boy!
I still remembered that when I was a child, my parents ofter said to me “How I wish you were a boy.” Because if I were a boy, my father would not have lost his job, my family would be a good family.
Were I a boy, I would try my best to learn knowledge as much as possible. Because in order to support the family, parents try their best to work hard. I want to let them live a happy life.
1
If only I were a boy!
If I were a boy, I would help the girls who need help.
If I were a boy, I would take good care of my love and protect she.
If I were a boy, I would take good care of my parents and my little sister/ brother.
If I were a boy, I would…

2
Today, I would rather I had a job.
If I had a job now, I would make much money. However, I am studying in the college. To be frank, I would rather I had a job. Because I think if were at work, I also can get much experience and knowledge. I think it will be make me more wonderful. To be the truth, I am very regret to study here. If I had not choose to study here, I think I would be happy now. In addition, If I were rich, I would buy a house for my parents. I want to live a life of ease and make people around me have a good life. In all, I will try my best exertions to study and I can find a good job.

If I were a boy
I wish I were a boy!
I still remembered that when I was a child, my parents ofter(一般后面加现在时,used to) said to me “How I wish you were a boy.” Because if I were a boy, my father would not have lost his job, my family would be a good family.
(If I was,将were I删去)Were I a boy, I would(缩写成I’d会更好) try my best(也可用I’ll spare no effort) to learn knowledge as much as possible. Because in order to(删去in order to,I want/hope)to support the family, parents try(不是过去时吗,tried) their best to work hard.(好像不符语意吧,parents worked so hard that they were too exhausted to enjoy their life and)I want to let them live a happy life.

1
If only I were a boy!
If I were a boy, I would help the girls who need help.
If I were a boy, I would take good care of my love(lover) and protect she(her).
If I were a boy, I would take good care of my parents and my little sister/ brother.
If I were a boy, I would…

2
Today, I would rather I had a job.
If I had a job now, I would make much(a lot of) money. However, I am studying in the college. To be frank, I would rather I had a job. Because I think if(I) were at work, I also can get much experience and knowledge. I think it will be make me more wonderful. To be the truth, I am very regret to study here. If I had not choose(if I didn’t make a choice)to study here, I think I would be happy now. In addition, If I were rich, I would buy a house for(to,此为固定搭配! ) my parents. I want to live a life of ease(want to后面改为live a easy life) and make(let) people around me have a good life. In all, I will try my best exertions(好累赘~删去吧) to study and I can(will比较符合语法规则) find a good job.
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第1个回答  2008-09-20
my parents ofter ofter?
my father would not have lost his job. have to
good family? nice family还差不多,我认为你可以用happy family好点.
Were I a boy ?
Because in order to support the family, parents try their best to work hard. I want to let them live a happy life. ?明白你的意思,但不是英文的表达方式.而且混乱.
take good care 不要good protect she.你确定是用she吗?而且因为你是在另外一段,she代指谁呢?
care of my parents and my little sister/ brother 用family就好了.
2
much money lot of
However, I am studying in the college. 是不是加上时间比较好now?still?
I would rather I had a job. 为什么用句号
Because I think if were at work who at work 而且at work这里不适合 换吧.比如 用job
make me more wonderful? 让你奇妙?还真的莫名其妙,换吧考虑一下use之类的单词.
To be the truth?to be honest 是不是好点?
In all,?
try my best 和exertions重复了.
to study and I can find a good job. 可以试试把这2个意思连起来.不然就去掉I can

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