请好心人帮我改作文，谢谢

Question

As we all know, maybe money are not effective tool to help a poor people get rid of poverty the same as a nation. Thus, should we provide another kind of help to the poverty-stricken area instead of direct financial aid? I will discuss pros and cons of both type in following passages, and give my opinion at end.

Obviously, the currency is most direct aid to those poverty-stricken countries. They can use money to build roads, hospital, factory which can create employment and stimulate local economy. Building school making sure everyone could gain better education is equally important to local economy. However, the things do not always go as we expect, for example, the money may not spend on education system or other government economic project. It often goes into some government staff’s pocket. That is why we can not see any effect on what we have done.

Then, some people suggest that we should change the aid type to another more effective one. For instance, we could do the some things, like build roads and bridges, for them instead of direct financial aid. Providing tools, such as bicycles and machines, is also a very useful method. However, there are also some problems to do so. Firstly, before doing the aid, doing research is very essential for local, because we do not know what are the most needs for them. Secondly, we are not familiar with local customs and traditions, which may cause some misunderstanding between nations.

After seriously consideration, I have to say the financial aid is also necessary to the poverty-stricken area, at the same time, providing another helping type is equally important.

Answer 1

As we know, maybe money is not an effective tool to help poor people get rid of poverty the same as a nation. Thus, should we provide another kind of help to the poverty-stricken area instead of the direct financial aid? I will discuss pros and cons of both type in following passages, and give my opinion at the end.

Obviously, the currency is most direct aid to those poverty-stricken countries. They can use money to build roads, hospitals, factories,which can create employment and stimulate local economy. Building schools to make sure everyone could gain better education is fairly important to the local economy. However, things do not always go as we expect, for example, money may be not spent on the education system or other government economic project. It may come into some government staff's pocket. That is why we can not see any effect .

Then, some people suggest that we should change the aid type to another more effective one. For instance, we can do some things, like building roads and bridges,for them, instead of the direct financial aid. Providing tools, such as bicycles and machines, is also a very useful idea. However, there are also some problems to do so. First, before the aid, doing the research is very essential for local, because we do not know whhat are the most needs for them. Second, we are not familiar with local customs and traditions, which may cause some misunderstandings to nations.

After seriously consideration, I have to say the financial aid is also necessary to the poverty-stricken area, at the same time, providing another helping type is equally important.
你的作文总的看来不错，但还存在些不足，首先是你的冠词的使用，名词单复数的把握；其次你的有些短语用的不错不过读起来有些牵强的感觉；总体框架提出问题，分析问题，下定决定，最后一段也绝是你的总结语不是很好，也与你是想表达你要即给予所需帮助的人经济上的帮助，又同时的给予其他方面的帮助，但你表达出来的意思却给人模棱两可的感觉，最后一段重写下建议。
给点小建议，英语作文首先得保证字数，语句通顺等基础，其次所用语句得恰当，附和语境，总体框架鲜明附和作文所需要求；最后高分的必需，也就是文章的闪光点，用好的短语，重句，俚语等润色你的文章，但注意切不可过头，语言的简洁也是好文章的必需。
希望所作的能帮上你，学习加油，英语很好玩的！

Answer 2

文章整体思路清晰，一看就知道走的是雅思路线，楼主你是不是准备考雅思的，加油啊！

你这篇文章写的不错，比我们家大狗写的好多了。继续努力

Answer 3

小朋友,我扫了一眼,你作文写的还蛮不错的.不过现在我马上下课了上不拉网,等有时间我帮你详细改,等着我修复的答案.争取这周内回复你.如果有别人的答案你满意的话也可以采纳.