麻烦帮我看下这段英文有没有什么错误

Question

The IBM-ETP training classes have begun, and these days we have been listening to some of the reports, panelists were two women from IBM. The quality of the reports is less than those online, but we can also get something from the reports. From the report of “IBM’s corporate culture” I learned a great emphasis on the spirit of IBM: appreciation, respect, trust and sharing. In the report of “Business Etiquette” I have learned to pay attention to some of the working world, for example: clothes, communication and so on. I was most impressed by on the report "Time Management" I have learned a number of ways to better manage my time. There is a large stone theory: to a number of sand, water and large stones to be put in a bucket, if we first put the sand and water into the bucket, and probably do not put stones on the water bucket. If we the stone into the bucket first, and then add the sand, then water, then sand and water will go into the bucket through the gap between the stones. The same thing applies to time management, we can focus on some very important things, and something not so important can be accomplished in space. If we feel we are very busy recently, but we do not know what we are in busy, we can set out a list every night, write down what we have done that day, in that way we can see where we have spent for a very long time clearly.
Lightweight enterprise development learning: learning Hibernate now, and some of the problems encountered cannot figure them out by myself for a very long time, still cannot find out online. Finally, I have to ask my teacher to help me; my teacher always pointed out that the crux of the problem quickly. I need to make great efforts to upgrade my technology.

Answer 1

The IBM-ETP training classes have begun, and these days we have been listening to some of the reports, panelists were two women from IBM. The quality of the reports is worse(这是更不好的意思,质量只有好坏,没有多少) than that (主语是quality,所以用that) online, but we can also get something from the reports. From the report of “IBM’s corporate culture” I learned a great emphasis of the IBM's spirit (最好不用on the spirit): appreciation, respect, trust and sharing. In the report of “Business Etiquette” I have learned to pay attention to some of the working world, for example: clothes, communication and so on. I was most impressed by(去掉on) the report "Time Management" I have learned a number of ways to manage my time better(better放后面). There is a large stone theory: to plenty(用plenty即可表可数也可表不可数) of sand, water and large stones which is(用个定语从句,which,that都可以)to be put in a bucket, if we first put the sand and water into the bucket, and maybe we can not put stones in(这里这样改一下). If we put(加动词) the stone into the bucket first, and then add (不特指可不加the)sand, then water, then sand and water will go into the bucket through the gap between the stones. The same thing applies to time management, we can focus on some very important things, and something that is(这里不可以直接用不定代词加形容词的形式,最好变成定语从句) not that(用that代替so更地道些,so更好用在肯定句中) important can be accomplished in spare (闲余时间)space. If we feel we are very busy recently, but (可以省略主语)do not know what makes us(这样的主语从句更正确) in busy, we can set out a list every night, writing(用现在分词表伴随,不然的话就要在write前加and) down what we have done that day, in that way we can see what had taken us much time(这样的主语从句更正确) clearly.
Lightweight enterprise development learning: learning Hibernate now, and some of the problems encountered cannot figure them out by myself for a(老用very的话会显得很不地道,而且这里要用也最好用quite) long time,I(其实上面整句都表意不清,我不好怎么改,先加个主语再说) still cannot find out online. Finally, I have to ask my teacher to help me; my teacher always pointed out (去掉that) the crux of the problem quickly. I need to make great efforts to upgrade my technology.
整篇文章用句和词都很生硬,有些地方我甚至看不懂表达的意思.如果还想改的更好,或大规模重写一遍,可以再联系我.

Answer 2

首先第二段的quality是不能用less来形容的，应该用poor
倒数第二段的figure应该是被动态，所以应该是cannot be figured out,当然了，后面也应该改成be found.别的没有什么了，总体上还是很好的

Answer 3

没有什么问题