请帮我修改一下这篇英语演讲稿,有没语法错误

Nothing is impossible
Hello everyone,before the talk,I want to talk something about Wang Shouren.
he had ever said that he wants to be a sage like Confucius.But the only thing he got was the loud laugh.

To be honest,there are few people able to be called "sage".It seemed that the dream was impossible of achievement.

However,he kept holding on.

On the road to the dream,he met lots of changellenges,but he kept up.
19 years later,he created the Shingaku and finally made his dream come true.
See,dreams always seem reachless before it come true.But if we work hard and never give up,we'll succeed.Nothing is impossible for one who sets his mind on it,isn't it?
That's all.Thank you for your listening.
特别是
there are few people able to be called "sage".
和he kept holding on有没有错

Nothing is impossible
Hello everyone,before the talk,I want to talk something about Wang Shouren.
he had ever said that he wants to be a sage like Confucius.But the only thing 加上(that)he got was the loud laugh.

To be honest,there are few people 加上(which are) [able to be]改成【qualified to be】 called "sage".It seemed that the dream was impossible [of achievement]改成【to achieve】.

However,he kept holding on.

On the [road]改成【way】 to the dream,he met lots of [changellenges]拼错,应是【challenges】(你是想表达“他遇到很多困难”吧?那应用difficulties),but he kept up(后面不加obj.的话最好改成but his spirit still kept up well.意谓尽管遭受挫折, 他仍旧充满斗志。).
19 years later,he created the Shingaku and finally made his dream come true.
See(这里完全是Chinese English,应改为By this token,即由此看来),dreams always seem reachless before it come true.But if we work hard and never give up,we'll succeed.Nothing is impossible for [one who](这里要强调语气,最好改成anyone that) sets his mind on it,isn't it?
(That's all.Thank you for your listening. )结束语太老套,而且第二句是英语听力的结束语!试试这个That's the end of my speech,thank you very much for being here.
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第1个回答  2009-07-30
Nothing is impossible

Hello everyone(过于口语化,演讲还是正式一些,如:good morning等),
before the talk(换成 my speech),I want to talk something about Wang Shouren.(缺乏对这个人的进一步简单介绍,致使举的例子的说服力降低,并不是每一个人都知道或反应过来王守仁是谁!)
he had ever said(had去掉,直接用never said) that he wants (wanted) to be a sage like Confucius. But the only thing he got was the loud laugh.(逻辑似乎没有清楚,sage和laugh有什么?)

To be honest,there are few people able to be called "sage".It seemed that the dream was impossible of achievement(用法错误,但不知道你要表达什么,就不改了).

However,he kept holding on.

On the road to the dream,he met lots of changellenges(拼写错误),but he kept up.
19 years later,he created the Shingaku and finally made his dream come true.

See,dreams always seem reachless before it(they) come true.But if we work hard and never give up,we'll succeed. Nothing is impossible for one who sets his mind on it,isn't it?

That's all.Thank you for your listening(listening换成attention 好些).

注:这么短,想表达这么多,难为你了。但是要精练。把句子再提炼提炼,真正要说的是什么,直接说,不要拐弯过多。要不就得长篇大论!

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