幽默的英语笑话短文

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幽默的英语笑话短文(精选11篇)   在繁忙的学习工作中,适时读一些幽默笑话,放松自己,劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英语笑话短文(精选11篇),希望大家喜欢!   幽默的英语笑话短文 篇1   The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.   "You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."   The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.   The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
A brain surgeon was preparing to conduct a brain transplant operation. He informed the patient, "You can choose between two brains: for $1000, you can have a psychologist's brain, or for $10,000, you can have a politician's brain." The patient was shocked by the significant price difference and asked, "Is a politician's brain really that much superior?" The surgeon responded, "No, it's not better, it's just never been used."
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇2
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
Michael: "Mom, I want to watch TV."
Mother: "There's no electricity tonight."
Michael: "Then let's watch TV by candlelight."
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇3
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
Teacher: "Can you explain what a fishing net is made of, Ann?"
Student: "It's made of lots of little holes tied together with strings," the little girl answered.
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇4
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
Young Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you use the money I gave you for yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You're a kind-hearted boy," his mother boasted. "Here are two more cents. Why are you so curious about the old woman?" "Because she's the candy seller," he explained.
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇5
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
"Are we venomous?" the young snake inquired of its mother. "Yes, my love," she responded, "Why do you ask?" "Because I've just bitten my own tongue!"
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇6
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women falling at your feet?"
During rush hour, I was rushing to catch a train at New York City's Grand Central Station. As I approached the gate, a plump middle-aged woman dashed up from behind, lost her grip on the smooth marble floor, and landed on her back. Her momentum brought her close to my feet. However, before I could assist her, she had managed to climb back up. Regaining her composure, she winked at me and quipped, "Do you always have stunning women tripping at your feet?"
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇7
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody.What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
"My uncle has a thousand men working under him,"
"He's quite a guy. What does he do?"
"He's a maintenance worker at a cemetery."
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇8
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
Shortly after an elderly Chinese woman returned to China from visiting her daughter in the United States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter had given her. At the bank counter, the teller meticulously examined each bill to determine if it was genuine. This process frustrated the old woman.
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇9
Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
Mrs. Brown: "Oh, my dear, I've lost my beloved little dog!"
Mrs. Smith: "But you must put an ad in the newspaper!"
Mrs. Brown: "It's no good, my little dog can't read."
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇10
—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
Customer: "Waiter, this lobster only has one claw."
Server: "I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight."
Customer: "Alright, then, bring me the one that won."
幽默的英语笑话短文 篇11
teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.now who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
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