英语作文批改

Question

张楠的父亲有位美国同事，他的孩子约翰?史密斯即将来华。约翰写信向张楠询问一些有关他所在城市的问题。张楠回信，内容如下：
得知约翰要来非常高兴。告诉他可能遇到一些不同于美国的情况。
气候：冬天冷，有时下雪。夏天几乎不下雨，但一下起来就很大。提醒约翰带雨衣、棉衣。
饮食：饮食与美国很不同，他应尽力适应中国饮食，并要学会如何使用筷子。
最后，请他带一张美国地图，希望早日能见面。
字数：100—120个词。

Dear John
I’m glad to know your son John Smith will arrive to china! Let me tell you something that different from USA. The first is climate. In this city , with snows sometimes ,it is very cold in winter ,and it rains rarely , but hardly had it rained, then it would very large. So you should have John to carry the umbrella .The second is food, it is a lot of different from USA, so John should try to adapt to the Chinese food. In addition, he must learn to how to use chopsticks which is the tool to eat.
Finally, please carry a USA’s map .I hope we’ll see each other as quickly as possible

Yours sincerely
ZhangNan

Answer 1

1. I'm glad to know your son John Smith will arrive to (改为 in) china!
到达某地应该用 arrive in (大城市或国家)，arrive at(小城镇或农村)
2. Let me tell you something that different from USA.
句子不通，有两种改法：
1）改为 something + 形容词短语——Let me tell you something different in our city from that in yours. ( 所不同的不是美国与 something，因为国家和事情不能类比，改为指代 something 的 that in USA 就可比了)
2) 改为 tell sb. about sh.——Let me tell you something about the difference between our City in China and yours in USA.（用名词 difference）
以上两种改法都另外加上城市，用以直接点题。
3. The first is （the）climate. （只这里的气候，是特指）
4. In this city, with snows sometimes, it is very cold in winter , and it rains rarely , but hardly had it rained, then it would very large.
句子较长，其后表述有些脱节，改动如下：
In our city，north of the lower reaches of the Changjiang River(用江北作同位语，以说明下文冬天既下雪又下雨的特殊气候现象，不然下文有些唐突) , with snows sometimes, it is very cold in winter raining rarely（分词短语作陪衬状语）；however（比用 but 更为妥贴），did it rain, it would very be very heavy.
1) 注意不要混淆 hardly...when/before 和 no sooner ...than 中的关联词。不过这两种用法用在这里都不妥，应该改为条件虚拟语气，改动处还是用了倒装句。
2）大雨只能用 heavy，不能用 large。
5）So you should have John （删去to） carry （the 改为 an）umbrella.
1） 使役动词动词 have, make 和 let 后用不定式作宾语补足语都不带 to。
2) the umbrella 双方心照不宣的雨伞， an umbrella 任意一把雨伞.
6）The second is food, it is a lot of different from USA, so John should try to adapt to the Chinese food.
改动如下：
The second is the food here. It is quite different from yours, so John should be ready to try to adapt himself to the Chinese food.
1) 还是要注意上面提到的可比性；
2）Tom 还没有到怎么去适应呢，所以添加 be ready to 建议有思想准备；
3）adapt 是使役动词，adapt sb. to sth. 使某人适应某事
7）In addition, he must learn （to 多余） how to use chopsticks which is the tool to eat （in China）.
8）Finally, please (添加 remmember to) carry a USA's map, (添加 for I'd like to know more about your country) .
9) I hope we'll see each other as quickly ( 此处还是用 soon 为好) as possible

Answer 2

稍微改点吧
arrive in
something that that去掉吧

large 你是想说雨大吗 用heavy或者strong
. So 没完呢 so前别打句点
to carry 前to 去掉

Answer 3

首先这封信是张楠回复Jhon的，也就是回复爸爸同事的孩子，但是作文中出现了对象混淆。因此修改后是这样的：
Dear Jhon，（记得加逗号）
I’m glad to know your son John Smith will arrive to(改为I'm glad to know you will come to) china! Let me tell you something that （此处加一个is）different from （加the）USA. The （去the）first is （加the）climate. (改为,)In(小写in) this city , with snows sometimes ,（it sometimes snows,）it is very cold in winter ,（去，）and it rains rarely , but hardly had it rained, then it would(加be) very large（改为heavy，雨大用heavy）. So you should have John to（去have
Jhon to）carry the umbrella .The（去the） second is（加the） food, it is a lot of （a lot of改为very）different from （the）USA, so John （you）should try to adapt to the Chinese food. In addition, he （you）must learn to how to use chopsticks which is the tool to eat（改为eating）.
Finally, please carry a USA’s （a USA's改为an American）map .I hope we’ll see each other as quickly（soon） as possible.希望能帮到你O(∩_∩)O