The Fox and the Tiger
旁白：I think everybody knows the Chinese story 狐假虎威. You know the fox cheat the tiger. When the tiger knew the truth, he felt very angry. He hated the fox very much. Can you imagine when the fox meet with the tiger again, what will happen?
One day, a new story happens.
(一)
琵琶弹奏：《金蛇狂舞》
场景：狐狸在前面跑，老虎在后面追。老虎一把揪住狐狸，喘三口气后，将狐狸翻转过来。
老虎：(暴怒地，用手指指着狐狸的鼻子)You cheat me last time. Cheat me! How dare you! Now, you are dying. Ah ha ha ha!
狐狸：(背过头去，小声地)：Oh, unlucky! What shall I do?
(回过头来，可怜地)：I feel very sorry for cheating you last time，but, but ,but……(左顾右盼)
老虎：(疑惑地)But what?
狐狸：(推脱中)But…….(眼睛往远处上下打量，迷恋状，脚不由自主地走出去)Beautiful!
老虎：(一把将狐狸拽回来) What?
狐狸：(向远处努努嘴)You girl friend Linda! Look, she’s there!
老虎：(傻呼呼，左右张望，急忙放手去找)Where? Where? Linda!(狐狸乘机溜走)(l老虎望着空空如也的手) I hate fox!(气得上窜下跳)
狐狸：Aa ha ha ha
(二)
旁白：Unfortunately, after a few days, the tiger meet with the fox again.
老虎在森林里又遇到了溜达中的狐狸，又一下子冲上去把狐狸压在爪下。
(琵琶拨一下弦，以示紧张的情绪。)
老虎：(暴怒地)Now, you can make a choice. You want me bite you head first or your fat leg first?
(先抚摩狐狸的头发，再打量狐狸的腿)
狐狸：(回过头去，表情像遇到鬼)Oh my God!(又回过头来，非常可怜状)(二胡《梁祝》响起)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, help yourself to some fox please. I hate myself, too.(狐狸捂着脸痛苦地跪下)My mother says I’m not a good boy. I always tell lies.(狐狸突然蹿起来) But, they say, tiger is a kind of strong animal. Maybe the strongest animal in the world. Before I die, can you show me how strong you are?
老虎：(得意极了，做出各种健美展示姿势)Of course. I’m a great animal. I’m proud of myself.
狐狸：(试探地)I heard there was a Chinese called 刘翔. He can cover 110 meters in 10 seconds. Can you?
老虎：(想想就好笑)Wa ha ha ha ! wa ha ha ha! Poor mankind! How slow! Wash your eyes! (老虎用手将狐狸的脑袋推开)Look!(老虎一溜烟跑了起来)
狐狸：(挥挥手，远远望去)sa yu na la! (二胡配轻松得意的音乐)
(三)
旁白：Now, fate plays another joke on the fox .He meet with the tiger again.
老虎变聪明了躲在树后面，一下子扑住了狐狸。
狐狸：(不解地)Who?
老虎：(意味深长地)Your old friend! Tiger!
狐狸：(装傻地)Oh, haven’t see you for a long time. How are you?(狐狸帮老虎整理领子，用袖子帮老虎擦衣服)
老虎：(阴险地)Very very nice! Now, I see my lunch. Delicious!(狐狸听了脚抖)
狐狸：(打喷嚏)a ti ! a ti ! (煞有介事地)I admit I’ve cheat you for 3 times. But, you know, it’s all for your sake.
老虎：(疑惑地)For my sake?
狐狸：(可怜巴巴地)Yes. To tell the truth, I’m not a normal fox!
老虎：(不甘示弱地)I’m not a normal tiger, too.
狐狸：(娓娓道来) I looked it up in the dictionary, and I know, in Chinese, they call me 果子狸。
老虎：(没明白)果子狸？
狐狸：(一拍脑袋，假装想起来)Oh, I forget, you can’t speak Chinese!
老虎：(得意地，想想就好笑地)Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha ! My mother always tell me ：to learn a foreign language is very important! I’ve learnt Chinese in school! Am I great! (突然醒悟过来)Wait, what did you say? Chinese call you what?
狐狸：果子狸。
老虎：果子狸？SARS? 非典？
狐狸：(点点头)Yes!
老虎：(放开手，大叫着跑了)wa ya!(边跑，边擦手)
(四)
旁白：From then on, fox become the real King of the forest.
二胡演奏We are the champion
狐狸大摇大摆地走在前面，后面有两个小喽罗在敲背。一个小喽罗敲得重了。狐狸把手一挥。Go! Go! Go! 将其赶走。
狐狸走在台中，大笑起来：Ah ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha!
期间，夹杂着老虎的哭声
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