我想要10个英语小笑话

Answer 1

　　1.Who's More Polite?
　　A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
　　2.Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
　　A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys
　　3你的记忆力好吗 Do You Have a Good MemoryWife:
　　Do you have a good memory for faces?
　　Husband: Yes——why?
　　Wife: I just broke your shaving mirror.
　　4烤乳猪 roast pig
　　A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig."
　　But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."
　　5.要上头条了 one of us
　　While taking photos of a bear eating fish in the forest, two journalists found the annoyed beast turned around to chase them.
　　In running, one journalist said to the other:"Can't run any more! What should we do?" "No idea. But one of us will have his photo on the headline (tomorrow)." replied his colleague.
　　6.大吃一惊 Big Surprise
　　Visitor: Is this a healthy place to live in?
　　Local yokel: Yes, sir. When I arrived here, I couldn't walk or eat solid food.
　　Visitor: What was the matter with you?
　　Local yokel: Nothing---I was born here.
　　7.手锯的用处 The Use of a HandsawAt the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.
　　Let's try it. my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.
　　Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.
　　The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.
　　8.便宜的马 Cheap price for a horse
　　After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.
　　Inadvertently the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead:Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.
　　Immediately someone responded to the ad, That''s an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, What''s wrong with your horse?
　　Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed the erroneously typed ad.
　　9.粗心的理发员 A Careless Barber
　　Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?Customer: No.　　
　　Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.
　　10. 你爷爷 your grandfather
　　A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:
　　"Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."
　　Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."
　　The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"
　　The waiter replied with ease:"Nobody. Just your grandfather

Answer 2

Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".

汤姆的借口
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.

中国人撞到外国人“I am sorry.”"I am sorry too""I am sorry three""what are you sorry for""I am sorry five"

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Answer 3

车祸的、、
one car come,one car come too."peng!""peng!",one car die
呃...中国留学生在美国和警察说的，不知道算不算笑话、、不过挺好玩的、、实在找不到百度一下“英语笑话”就差不多能出了吧、