谁有英语小短文（最好有幽默感）？

Question

急急急急急急急急急急！最好2到5分钟！谢谢！

Answer 1

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce students to the glories of classical music,so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. to make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, “have you enjoyed yourself today?”
“Oh,yes ,miss!”said Sally,”It was lvely.All except the music, it was.”
译文：一位热心的年轻的教师想让她的学生多了解一些优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家回来喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗？”
“哦！好极了，小姐！”小萨莉说，“除了音乐，其他都很好！”

Answer 2

Name Them
A teacher, a petty thief and a lawyer all died and went to the Pearly Gates.Because of crowding,St Peter told them they had to pass a test before ascending any further.Addressing the teacher,he asked,"What was the name of the famous ship that hit an iceberg and sank?"
"The Titanic,"she answered,and St Peter motioned her into heaven.
The thief was next."How many people died on that ship?"St Peter asked.
"Gee,that's tough,"the man replied."But luckily I just saw the movie.The answer is 1,500."St Peter let him Through.
Then St Peter turned to the lawyer,"Name them."

Answer 3

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.

一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。

To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocsandices.

为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。

Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today, honey?"

在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉:“亲爱的，你今天玩得好吗？”

"Oh, yes, miss" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

“哦，好极了，小姐，”萨莉说，“除了音乐其他都很好 ".

Answer 4

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest zTeacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听I'm Trying to Stop It

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”

“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”

“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?

John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.

老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？

约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。