英语小笑话及翻译，不要太长，单词最好是五年级的。

Answer 1

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Answer 2

小泉纯一郎访美在即，他觉得应该跟布什说几句英语以示学识渊博，便向智囊请教。 对曰， 你可以说， How are you,(你好吗？） 他必定答： I’m fine,are you? (我很好，你呢？） 你可以接着说： Me too (我也很好） 这样就很体面，又简单。 小泉记在心上。到了美国，布什偕夫人劳拉前来迎接。小泉纯一郎开始表演。 How are you? 可惜他的舌头有点大，说成了 Who are you?(你是谁？） 布什以为小泉纯一郎在玩幽默，便也幽默作答： I’m Lara’s husband.（我是劳拉的丈夫。） 小泉纯一郎立刻微笑的接语： Me too (我也是。）

英译
Koizumi Junichino visits the USA in namely, he thought should to Bush say several English show to have great learning, then consults to the brain truster.
To said that, you may say, How are you? He answers surely: I am fine, are you? You may then say that, Me too .It's very dignified and simple.
The small spring records on his heart.
To US, Bush has accompanied Madame Laura to come to greet.Koizumi Junichino starts to perform. How are you?——But his tongue a little was what a pity big, talked into“ Who are you?”
Bush thought Koizumi Junichino is playing humorously, then also humorously does answers: “I' m Lara' s husband”. Koizumi Junichino smiles immediately hinting word:“ Me too”.

Answer 3

Text(正文):
One day, the girl in the shower, she parrot shout loudly: see, see! Girl: call again will you hair. A few days later, a bald. Friend, The parrot softly asked him: as you see?
一天，女孩在洗澡时，她养的鹦鹉大叫：看到了，看到了！女孩：再叫就拔光你的毛。几天后，一光头朋友来访。鹦鹉小声问他：你也看到了？