英语笑话或者故事！急用！（在线等待！）

Question

请告诉我一个英语的笑话或者故事，1＿2分钟的，别太短．词汇适用于高二的学生的！最好有意思点！谢谢！！！！！！
在线等待！
最好有中英文对照的！
别太短，也别太长！

Answer 1

美第一夫人调侃总统笑话连篇
In the middle of telling a joke that most at the annual White House Correspondents Association dinner had heard before, president Bush was interrupted by the First Lady Laura Bush.

布什总统在白宫记者协会年度晚宴的讲台上，讲一个在座的大多数人以前已经听过的老笑话，第一夫人劳拉·布什打断了布什总统的讲话。

"I've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. Well, I've got a few things I want to say for a change," said Laura Bush.

她说：“我多少年来不知参加了多少这样的晚宴，总是安静地坐在一边。今天我要换换角色，也来讲讲几样事情。”

She then went on to deliver a number of jokes of her own at her husband's expense. She made fun of his early bedtime.

然后劳拉拿他丈夫、也就是总统开玩笑，讲了一连串的笑话。她笑他睡觉睡得太早了。

"George always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He's usually in bed by now. I'm not kidding. I said to him the other day, "George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later," joked the First Lady.

第一夫人开玩笑说，“乔治总是说他喜欢来参加这些媒体晚宴。这纯属瞎说。一般来说，到现在这个钟点，他已经上床睡觉了。我不是开玩笑。头两天我还跟他说，‘乔治，你要真想清除世界上的暴政，就得晚点睡觉。’”

She made fun of how this son of privilege tried to adjust to life in rural Texas. "But I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse."

劳拉取笑来自富贵人家的布什如何适应德克萨斯的农牧生活。她说：“乔治真让我自豪。到现在，他终于学会了很多牧场上的活儿，想当初，他试着从马那里挤奶，更糟糕的是，那还是匹公马。”

Not only did the audience laugh, the President laughed and reaction across the country has been extremely positive. Historian Allan Lichtman says the speech was so popular because it makes American leaders more human.

捧腹大笑的不仅是在场的听众，总统也乐得合不上嘴，美国上下都做出了正面的反应。历史学家阿伦·里奇曼说，劳拉的调侃之所以这么受欢迎，是因为它使得美国领导人更加平易近人。

"In America we have no monarchy, no aristocracy. So our royalty comes down to the President and the First Lady but we don't have a stuffy view of our royalty. We like them to be above us but also down to Earth. And we love self-deprecating humor like we saw from the First Lady," says Mr. Lichtman.

他说：“在美国，我们没有君主，没有贵族。所以我们的皇室家庭其实就是总统和第一夫人了，不过对我们来说，第一家庭没有那么多清规戒律。我们喜欢他们在我们之上，但是也喜欢他们是实实在在的人。我们喜欢第一夫人那种自我解嘲的幽默。”

"George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw - which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well," said Laura Bush.

劳拉·布什还调侃说：“牧场上不管碰到什么问题，乔治的唯一解决办法是用大锯子把它锯倒。我认为这就是为什么他能跟切尼和拉姆斯菲尔德相处甚欢的原因。”

Professor Lichtman says the First Lady's presence on the stage and jokes made about prominent women in the Bush administration sends a message about women in America. He says, "I think this also shows the world that we don't have our women stuck in the back room. Not only was Laura Bush making jokes about the President, she was also making jokes about our woman Secretary Of State Condoleezza Rice."

里奇曼教授说，第一夫人在台上拿布什政府里重要的女性搞笑的时候，传达了一个有关美国女性的信息。“我认为这还向世人显示，我们不把我们的女性关在里屋。劳拉·布什不光是拿总统开心，她还拿国务卿赖斯开心。”

Until now the First Lady's has had a more serious public persona, an advocate for education and women's rights in Afghanistan. This speech showed a different and very funny side of Laura Bush.

直到目前为止，第一夫人劳拉·布什一直保持着比较严肃的公众形像，倡导教育和阿富汗妇女的权益。劳拉的幽默调侃，显示了她另外的风趣一面。

Answer 2

Teacher:What are you doing?
Jim:I'm looking for my pen.
Teacher:Hey,you pencil-box is on the table.
Jim:There's no pen in my pencil-box!
我班发生的真人真事！

Answer 3

His head must be empty too
Little Bobby: I've got a stomachache.

Aunt Tess: That's because you haven't eaten and your stomach is empty, so it hurts.

Little Bobby: Now I know why Uncle Harry has headache all the time. His head must be empty too.

Answer 4

George W. Bush have two brains, his left brain has nothing right, his right brain has nothing left.
（翻成中文就不好笑了，意思很浅显，很容易明白）