【高分】有两篇英文的读后感，高手帮忙改改，谢谢了

Question

第一篇：
《The Invisible Man》Book
Jack Griffin is a scientist.He study a lot about light and liguids.He invent a kind of drug,it can make a people be invisible.Then he eat the drug and make himself be invisible is not as easy as he imagined it would be.He need money and clothes to stay warm and well fed.However,every time he try to get these things,he create a lot of trouble for himself.So he went to a small town to make a formula to make him visible again.But in one year ,he can't find it.So he become a crazed man.He want to do everything,he want to steal,he want to kill.So the polices are finding he.At last,he is killed by the anger men.
Read this book,I think that someone invented something,he should do good things by these inventions.If not,he will eat his own bitter fruit.

第二篇：
《The last leaf》book
This story is about two girls.One's name is Sue and the other's name is Johnsy.Johnsy got pneumonia in a cold winter.She laid,hardly moveing,on her iron-framed bed.She think she will dead in a week.She always counted the leaves on the ivy vine.
Her best friend,Sue,told Behrman of Johnsy's idea.Behrman was a German painter who lived on the ground floor beneath them.So Behrman had an idea.When the last leaf fell,he painted a leaf there.Johnsy saw that the last leaf not fall,then she was out of danger.
I think,a people must has hope,if not,he can't live in the world.
这里另有两篇：
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/112054513.html
最好把文章复制下来，再改。直接列出哪里要改也可以

Answer 1

我来认真说一下吧。

第一篇。
1、描述书中发生的事情要用 一般过去时。自己的感想才用现在时。
所以第一段的动词应该都从一般现在时 改为 一般过去时。

2、逐行修改评述。请看原文。

第一行：liguids 查无此词。应该是liqiud ，‘液体’的意思。研究能使光折射的液体，才能隐形。

第二行：去掉 be. make sb.＋直接加形容词做宾语补足语。‘使某人怎样’。

第三行：‘ is not as easy as he imagined it would be’重起一句。
‘But it is not as easy as he imagined.’

第六行：crazed 应该是 crazy（疯狂的）.

第七行：He want to do everything,he want to steal,he want to kill.
这个句子应该这样写：He wanted to do everything, including stealing and killing.
记住，一个句子不能有多个谓语动词。要表示一个人物的多个动作，可以用连词（比如and，but等）连起多个谓语，或者改成伴随性的非谓语。

还有。做如下修改。So the polices are finding he（him，宾格）.At last,he is killed by the anger（angry，形容词） men.
要注意词的形式。

第九行：Read this book,应该是“After reading this book，”

I think that someone invented something,he should do good things by these inventions.If not,he will eat his own bitter fruit.
改为：
I think if one invented something, he should do good with it. Otherwise， he will eat his own bitter fruit.

表达和衔接还不是很熟练。继续加油。

第二篇。

1、故事里的情节依然改为一般过去时。

2、逐行修改。

第一行：the other's name 这里的name 可以去掉。

第二行：She laid,hardly moveing,on her iron-framed bed.
这里应该表达为‘She laid on her iron-framed bed，not being able to move.’

第三行：按括号修改。She think she will dead（die，动词） in a week.

第五行：told Behrman of（去掉of） Johnsy's idea.
tell sb sth 告诉某人某事。是固定搭配，无需加of。

第七行：Johnsy saw that the last leaf not fall,then she was out of danger.

这里表达的意思应该是：Johnsy看到最后一片叶子始终没有落下，于是她坚持着，没有丧失求生欲望，直到脱离生命危险。（看过这个故事，很感人）

所以改为：Johnsy saw that the last leaf didnt' fall, so she persevere and never lose hope, until finally she's out of danger.

第九行： I think,a people must has hope,if not,he can't live in the world.有些中式英语了。
改为：I think as a human being we must have hope. If not, we can't live in the world.

这里面有一些衔接、语法、固定搭配的问题，需要你在平时的学习、阅读和写作中慢慢积累。

最后祝你英语学习能更上一层楼！加油！

Answer 2

The Invisible Man》Book
Jack Griffin is a scientist.He studies(根据开头那句，应用一般现在时) a lot about light and liquids.He invented(此处应用一般过去时) a kind of drug which (it改为which,将原句改为定语从句更好。当然，不改也行)can make（a 要去掉）people (be去掉，make sb +adj.)invisible.Then he eats the drug and make himself (同上)invisible。But this is not as easy as he imagined。（ it would be去掉）.He needs money and clothes to stay warm and well fed.However,every time he try to get these things,he creates(三单要加s) a lot of trouble for himself.So he goes to a small town to make a formula to make him visible again. But he doesn't succeed(没有成功)，though he has tried for one year .（so改为finally）finally he becomes a crazy(形容词crazy) man.He wants to do everything,he wants to steal things and kill the people(steal和kill均需宾语).So the police（police本身就是复数，不能再加s） are finding him（要用宾格）.At last,he is killed by the angry(要用形容词) men.
After reading(read要用ing形式） this book,I think when one(someone改为one;宾语从句前加when) invents(用一般现在时) something,he should do good to people(对。。。有益) by his inventions.or（If not改为or）he will eat his own bitter fruit.

第二篇：
《The last leaf》book
This story is about two girls whose（用定语从句，既简洁，又地道） names were（用过去时） Sue and Johnsy.Johnsy got pneumonia in a cold winter.She lay(lie躺的过去式是lay) on her iron-framed bed,could hardly move（改为move，与前面的lay并列做谓语）,She thought she would die（think要用过去时与全文相一致；要用dead的动词die） in a week.She always counted the leaves on the ivy vine.
Then（此处用then承上启下）her best friend,Sue,told Behrman about(on 要改为about) Johnsy's idea.Behrman was a German painter who lived on the ground floor beneath them.（so要去掉）Behrman had an idea.When the last leaf fell,he painted another one（a leaf改为another one，避免重复累赘） there.Johnsy saw that the last leaf not fall,then she was out of danger.
I think （逗号，去掉）one（people 改为one，泛指“人”，概括全文） mustn't lose heart at anytime(这样改更符合英语的习惯),or（把if not改为or）,he can't live in the world happily。（加happily，更贴切些）

Answer 3

第一篇：《The Invisible Man》【by H.G. Wells】
（记住，在书名后面不用写 ‘book’。我建议你把作者的名字写在这里）

Jack Griffin 【was】 a scientist. He 【studied】 a lot about light and 【liquids】. 【As a result，】 he 【invented】 a 【new】 kind of drug 【that】 can 【make people】 invisible. Then he 【ate】 the drug and 【made】 himself invisible. 【However，it was】 not as easy as he imagined 【it to be.】 He 【needed】 money and clothes to stay warm and well fed. 【Yet，】 every time he 【tried】 to get these things, he 【created】 a lot of trouble for himself. So he went to a small town to 【create】(在这里用 create 更适合一定，因为英文里一般都说，create a formula, 不太说, make a formula) a formula to make him visible again. But 【after one year，he still couldn't find it, causing him to become】 a crazed man. 【He wanted to do everything after that. He stole and killed, so the police went after him.】At last, he 【was】 killed by the anger men.
【After reading】 this book, I 【feel】 that 【if】 someone 【invents】 something, 【then】 he should do good things 【with】 these inventions. If not, he will 【end up eating】 his own bitter fruit.

第二篇：《The Last Leaf》【by O Henry】

This story is about two girls 【，Sue and Johnsy】. 【In the story，Johnsy became ill with】 pneumonia in a cold winter. She laid 【on her iron-framed bed，barely moving.】 She 【believed that】 she 【would be】 dead in a week 【，and to keep track of the time，】 she always counted the leaves on the ivy vine.
Her best friend, Sue, told Behrman of Johnsy's 【actions.】Behrman was a German painter who lived on the ground floor beneath them 【，and he had an idea.】When the last leaf fell 【from the ivy vine,】 he painted a leaf there. 【When】 Johnsy saw that the last leaf 【had not fallen】, she 【finally realized that it was foolish to want to die，and wait for it. Sue learned to cherish her life, and fight for life.】
I 【believe that people】 must 【always have】 hope. 【Otherwise，they won't be able to survive】 in 【this】 world.

～ · ～ · ～ · ～ · ～ · ～

你所说的这两个故事我都读过。

我帮你把一些语法不对的地方改了下，把句子改更顺了点。
然后在第二篇文章的最后部分加了点新的。

你写得很不错，不过你有时会把过去式和现在式混在一起。记住，写文章时，只能用一个。

继续加油，希望我的修改对你有帮助。

Answer 4

第一篇：
《The Invisible Man》Book
Jack Griffin is a scientist.He studied （过去式比较好，即使不用过去式也应该用第三人称单数studies) a lot about light and liguids(猜测应该是液体liquid的吧）.He invented(过去式） a kind of drug, which (用个从句比较舒服，如果用it 前面要加 and 连接两个句子）can make people （people 是集合名词，前面不能加a) be invisible.Then he ate (还是人称时态的问题） the drug and made himself be invisible, but it was not as easy as he imagined( it would be 可以删掉，有点罗嗦）.He needed clothes to stay warm and money to make a living (这里分开说消除歧义）.However,every time he trid to get these things, he would cause (cause 有带来负面影响的意思）a lot of trouble for himself，so he went to a small town to make a formula to make him visible again,but until a year later (更地道一点）he still couldn't find it.Therefore, he became a crazed man.He wanted to do everything:he wanted to steal;he want to kill.So the police(可作集体名词） are trying to catch him.At last,he was killed by an angery man(注意表达哦，a 是泛指，the 是具体某人）.
After I finished reading this book(这养表达比较好）,I thought that if someone had invented something,he should do good things by these inventions.If not,he might eat his own bitter fruit.

第一篇大的改动都放括号里了，有很多时态和人称数的问题，没用括号标出来，但是改动在文章里哦～～基本都是动词，你读一读

第二篇：
《The last leaf》book
This story is about two girls.One's name is Sue and the other's name is Johnsy.Johnsy got pneumonia in a cold winter.She laid down, hardly moving around(是要表示下床走动吧，加around),on her iron-framed bed.She thought she would die(时态，并且dead是形容词，如果用的话也是 be dead) in a week.She always counted the leaves on the ivy vine.
Her best friend,Sue,told Behrman of Johnsy's idea.Behrman was a German painter who lived on the ground floor beneath them. Behrman came up with an idea(这个和前面没有直接因果关系，所以还是用独立的句子比较好）.When the last leaf fell down, he painted a leaf there.Johnsy saw that the last leaf had not fallen yet(时态问题）,so she got inspired by that leaf and insisted on, and finally she was cured.(句子理顺点，别人容易看懂些：所以她很受鼓舞并且坚持着，最终被治愈了）
I think,a person(people是集合名词） must have hope,if not,he can't live in the world.

第二篇也该完啦，呵呵～～～希望对你有帮助哦

Answer 5

第一篇：
《The Invisible Man》Book
Jack Griffin is a scientist. He studied a lot about light and liquids. He invented a kind of drug, which can make a people be invisible. Then he ate the drug and made himself been invisible, but it’s not as easy as he imagined it would be. He needed money and clothes to stay warm and well fed. However, every time he tried to get these things, he created a lot of troubles for himself. So he went to a small town to make a formula to make him visible again. But in one year, he couldn't find it. So he became a crazed man. He wanted to do everything. He wanted to steal and to kill. So the polices captured him. At last, the anger men killed them.
After reading this book, I think that someone invented something, he should do good things by these inventions. If not, he will eat his own bitter fruit.

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对于过去式和现在式的用法我还不是非常熟，但发现你在第三人称后面的动词都没有加上一个“s”。
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第二篇：
《The Last Leaf》book
This story is about two girls. One's name is Sue and the other's name is Johnsy. Johnsy got pneumonia in a cold winter. She could hardly move, and always lay down on her iron-framed bed. She always counted the leaves on the ivy vine. She thought she would die in a week after the leaves all fall down.
Her best friend, Sue, told Behrman of Johnsy's idea. Behrman was a German painter who lived on the ground floor beneath them. So Behrman had an idea. When the last leaf fell, he painted a leaf there. Johnsy saw that the last leaf not fall, then she was out of danger.
I think a people must have a hope, if not, he/she can't live in the world.
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你的英文很不错啊！