帮我修改一下这篇英语作文。

Question

Be Myself
Hello! Everyone! I'm glad to meet you here! My name is Chen Kaiyan. And My English name is Melody. I was born on April 24th, 1996.I am a girl, who is 13 years old, studying in Jiangmen No.2 Middle School of Junior 2. At weekend, I also like to go shopping, listen to music or play computer games at home. About my study, my favourite subject is English. Learning English is very important and very funny for me, so I like it very much! And my idol is Super Junior. I like Korean cultures very much, too. Also, I'm looking forward to travel to South Korea.
.
Form the time I was little, I knew I was great, because the people would tell me. “ You are so great.” But they never tell me how great I would be if ever someone who was greater than me.

When I grow up, I begin to understand it is the best to do myself. Try my best to complete my power thing. Just be myself. I like to be myself, because it is the most natural, the most true .In the process of growing up, always meet failure, but I won't give up, be myself is the most important.

Every one has dream besides me. But I want to be myself.

Thank you.
帮我看看有没有语法错误，句式对不对，要快哦，谢谢。

Answer 1

抱歉，因为你里面写的，可能是单词用错了，我没读懂。我按照我理解的，给你改了一下。中文英文都有，你可以自己对一下是不是跟你的意思一样。如果不对可以再找我。呵呵~~~
如下:

My own
Hello! I'm glad to meet you here! My name is Chen Kaiyan. My English name is Melody. My birthday is on April 24, 1996. I am a girl, I am 13 years old, the primary school in second. On weekends, I also want to go shopping, listen to music, and playing computer games at home. About my study, my favorite subject is English. Learning English is very important and very interesting for me, so I like it very much! My idol is super youth. I like Korea very much. In addition, I also expect to South Korea.
.
When I was a little boy, I knew I was great, because people will tell me. "You really great." But they never told me that I would be a great whether someone is better than me.

When I grow up, I began to understand to do my best. Do I have to complete my power within the scope of the thing. But I myself. I like to do my own, because it is the most natural, the real in the process of growing up, often encounter failure, but I won't give up, do you oneself is the most important.

Besides me, everyone has a dream. But I want to do my own.

我自己
你好!我很高兴在这里见到你!我的名字是陈Kaiyan。我的英文名字叫Melody。我的生日是在1996年4月24日 . 我是一个女孩,我13岁,就读于江门第二中学的初级2。在周末,我也想去购物,听音乐和在家玩电脑游戏。关于我的学习,我最喜欢的科目是英语。学习英语是很重要的,非常有趣了我,所以我很喜欢它!我的偶像是超级青年。我非常喜欢韩国的文化。另外,我也期待着前往韩国。
。
我还小的时候,我知道我是伟大的,因为人们会告诉我。“你真棒。“但是他们从来没有告诉我,我将会多么伟大是否有人是比我伟大。

当我长大了,我开始明白要最好的去做我自己。尽我所能来完成我的力量范围内的东西。只是我自己。我喜欢做我自己,因为它是最自然的、最真实的在成长的过程中,经常遇到失败,但是我不会放弃的,做你自己才是最重要的。

除我之外,每个人都有梦想。但我想做我自己。

希望可以帮到你(*^__^*) 嘻嘻

Answer 2

I also like to go shopping,-->去掉also，这是你第一次说自己喜欢什么
Learning English is very important and very funny for me-->
..and such a fun to me（funny更倾向于好笑，滑稽。介词用to）
Also, I'm looking forward to travel to South Korea.-->去掉also，前面有too，而且说的是同一个话题，不需要用also
Form the time I was little-->At the time when I was little,或When I was little
the people would tell me-->people told me so(后面不要直接引语)
do myself-->根据你想表达的意思改，这个说法不对
power -->根据想表达的意思使用一个正确的形容词，这是名词
always meet failure-->we will fail from time to time
be myself is the most important-->because be myself is the most important thing to do
Every one -->Everyone
Every one has dream besides me. But I want to be myself-->
想说什么？做自己也不一定没有梦想，话不应该这样说

如果这是演讲稿，少用从句和分词短语，多用短句，但要理清楚逻辑关系，以及各部分的连贯和承接。比如I am a girl, who is 13 years old, studying..
这句，尽量分成几个短句。如果是写信，也要求口语化一点，自我介绍的时候这样用从句不太好，好像是在介绍别人。
另，of Junior 2.改成second grade of ...school. 因为middle school已经表达了junior的意思。也可以参照美国k12教育体系，算是8年级，8th grade

Answer 3

Dear
Alison
How's
it
going?
l
hope
everything
goes
well
with
you。
This's
the
teacher
give
me
this
semester.
Chinese
teacher
said
that
I was
not
careful
enough.And
I
good
at
science\.English
teacher
thought
that
I
was
hardworklng,I
made
a
lot
of
progress
in
it.But
Math teacher
said
that I
am
too lazy.
Well,that's
all
the news
about
me.Good
luck
to
you Yours
,XX 我尽力了。里面有一些语法错误，得修改啊~

Answer 4

I'm looking forward to后面加动名词或名词。所以用traveling.

Answer 5

很好