英语短剧，要带翻译，要幽默、搞笑。

Answer 1

Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain! Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
E: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐

Answer 2

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
"May I speak to your parents?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there? "
"The police."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The firemen."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."
"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing? "
"Looking for me."

他们忙着呢

一天，电话响了，一个小男孩接起电话。
“我可以和你的爸妈说话吗？”
“他们忙着呢！”
“哦。旁边还有别人吗？”
“有警察。”
“我能和他们说话吗？”
“他们忙着呢！”
“哦，那还有别人吗？”
“还有消防员。”
“我能和他们说话吗？”
“他们忙着呢！”
“哦，那就是说：你爸妈，警察和消防员都在旁边，但是他们都在忙。他们在干嘛呢？”
“他们在找我。”

Answer 3

A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I’m hungry to die.
B:get away,get away,dirty man.
A:sir,sir!!
B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don’t have money,either.
C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn’t he?
D:yes,yes.
A:but....sir....please listen to me.....
B:wa,why are you so disgusting!!
C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.
E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.
D:yes,yes!!
E:sir!you lost your wallet!can’t you be more clever?
F:good morning,everybody.I’m a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint.now,I will intenview the two nozzy man.
B:wo,my god,wo,my,mum.
F:I’m sorry to tell you this man has been mad.we needn’t take notice of him.let me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn’t you tell him he lost his wallet?
A:I’m sorry,I don’t know how to speak '钱包' in english......
F:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us.is that all right,chair?
E:yes,yes.
C:ai,men is so silly.
D:don’t believe us,it is just a fairly tale.

A(衣衫褴褛） B（衣着光鲜） C小花 D小草 E椅子 F新闻记者
B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前
A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。
B：（厌恶）让开，让开。（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E上头了）
A：先生，先生（A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B）
B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了）
C：他真愚蠢啊
D：是啊是啊（D点头附和）
A：可……先生……您听我说……（仍拉着B衣服的后摆）
B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！（还是没有回头看A一眼）
C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？
E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~
D：是啊是啊
与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。
E：先生！你的钱包丢了！你怎么这么傻啊。
A与B同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子E，吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的F看见了。于是F就报道了这一事件。
F：大家好，我是新闻记者F，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。
B：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。
F：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他的钱包丢了？
A：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲……
F：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。是吗，椅子？
E：是啊，是啊（E傻傻地拼命点头）
C：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了。
D：谁让这是一个童话呢……

Answer 4

 

追答

 

追问

要至少两人

追答

哇，你今天才采纳

Answer 5

 

追答

行吗？