请看这段英文翻译有没有语法错误，中文意思如下。

Question

I am very pleased to receive conditional offer.One of the requirement for admission is submit language scores before 1st,June.University is my dream school and you are the only one i submit my application,so i am really appreciate and cherish this opportunity,but i have little worried about which i may not submit language scores in time,so i wonder whether it is possible to submit later,such as in late June?
中文：非常高兴我能收到conditional offer，我看到条件之一是在6月一日之前提交语言成绩,学校是我的dream school，我只申请了你们，所以我非常珍惜这个机会，但我有些担忧我不能及时提交语言成绩，所以询问是否有可能可以晚一点提交,比如六月下旬？
忽略第一次写的，看这个语法有没有问题？
I am very excited about receiving my conditional offer.university is my dream school and you are the only one that i submitted my application,so i really appreciate and cherish this opportunity.but i have little worry about which i may not submit the language scores in time(before 1st June),so i wonder whether it is possible to submit later,like in late June?

Answer 1

I am excited to receive your conditional offer of admission. I note that as indicated in the offer, I am required to provide the test results as proof of my language skills by June 1, 2015. I am writing this letter to request for a late submission of the test result, as I have just taken another test and the result will be issued until the end of June.
XXX University is my dream school and my only choice for post-secondary education. As I have not submitted my application to other colleges. Therefore, I really cherish this opportunity to be admitted to XXX University.
Hopefully my request for a late submission of the required document can be granted.
Yours faithfully,

译者寄语：
写这一类的请求信，应采用标准的公函格式。故此，应先表明你的要求和理由。须知你的个人对大学的热忱不是充份的理由。假若你有别的理由，请自行修改。

追问

那我是不是应该写封正式的ARGUE？我原本只是想写封邮件问问

追答

你的是request，不是argue。Formal correspondence是最起码的尊重，若连这一点都做不到，大学为何要给你这些方便？

追问

你想要给你。动不动摆高姿态，至于嘛

追答

这样的学习态度，大学取録你才是错误决定。还有你的英语水平，还是算了吧！浪费时间！

追问

哇，你好厉害哦！

Answer 2

I am very excited to receive my conditional offer. Your university is my dream school, and you are the only one to which I submitted my application. I really appreciate you give me this opportunity, but I have little worry about that I did not submit my language scores before the deadine time(1st of June). I wonder whether it is acceptable to submit in late June?
英文逗号和句号很重要，一句话结束一定要标句号；另外使用从句要注意代名词使用方式。

Answer 3

楼上的改的不错，你自己把意思都写反了，I have little worry about which这个地方，你这意思是你不怎么担心。。

Answer 4

It is my pleasure to receive the conditional offer, XXX university is my top and only choice (I have only applied XXX university), so I would cherish this precious opportunity, However, I have a little concern about handing in the language score on time (as I have see the requirement saying handing it by 1st of June), so I would like to ask is it possible for me to submit the score later (like later in June)?
Thank you!

Answer 5

有些地方不好，改了一下。

I am excited to receive your conditional offer.And I see one of the requirements for admission is to submit language scores before 1st,June.XXX（学校名） University is my dream school and you are the only one to which I submitted my application, so I am really appreciated and will cherish this opportunity,but what I am worrying is that I may not be able to submit language scores in time due to some reasons.So I wonder whether it is possible to submit it later,like in late June?