高手们来帮我看看这篇英语故事有没有语法错误

Question

马上要英语课前演讲了 麻烦大家帮我看看这篇短文有没有语法错误 有的话麻烦指点一下 谢谢
A hedgehog liked walking next to the river. He was lonely. He didn't have any friends. One day, he came across a fish.
The fish asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
"Am I blue?" the hedgehog smiled.
The fish stared at the hedgehog mildly. She said, "Let me warm you up."
The fish and the hedgehog fell in love with each other.
Have you seen the love of a fish and a hedgehog?
"I would like to pluck all thorns, because I didn't want to twinge you when we are embracing." said the hedgehog.
"No! I can't stand you blooding. I only want to give you happiness."
"I would rather die for you."
The hedgehog plucked his thorns over and over again. He felt painful. But he thought it was worth doing that. He loved the fish deeply. However, the fish didn't have feet, she couldn't leave the water. They couldn't embracing.
The fish asked God, "Could you give me the feet? I want to stay with my lover."
God said, "My child, I ask the indulgence of you. You didn't have feet when you was born."
The fish said, "Is my love wrong?"
"Love is not wrong." said God.
"What should I do to give my lover happiness?"
"Please turn back."
The fish leaved. She disappeared in hedgehog's eyes.
The hedgehog asked God, "God! Does fish have tears?"
"Yes. Her tears fall into the water."
"What is love? God."
"Some love needs giving up."

Answer 1

A hedgehog liked walking next to the river 这个可以简单点，A hedgehog walked by the river.
he came across a fish. 改成 he encounter a fish, 或者，he met a fish.
blue ,改成sad, blue 有忧郁的意思，但这里不合适。
blooding，应该是bleeding,bleed，动词，流血。
they couldn't embracing, 应该是embrace. 情态动词后面跟原形。
I can't stand you blooding. I only want to give you happiness." 要简单点，改成：I want to make you happy, not bleeding. 你想表达不能忍受，stand 听起来有点变味了，好像嫌弃一样。
when you was born , was 改为were.
some love needs to be given up. 被动。
indulgence 是纵容。 I ask the indulgence of you.，你的意思应该是，希望你原谅我？是吧，或者这样讲：“forgive me(I am so sorry或者这样简单 一点就可以了), my child, but you were born without leg.”
是个很好的故事，但是有些表达好像不太合英语的习惯，其实尽量简单就好了，听众也省力。不过没有关系啦，演讲的话，当时的发音和情感，比一些不太明显的语法错误重要得多。反正这个故事我看得明白，以上指出几点，希望帮到你，祝你成功！

Answer 2

<<A hedgehog liked walking next to the river. He was lonely. He didn't have any friends. One day, he came across a fish.>>
===> (简洁式) A lonely hedgehog was next to the river when came across a fish.

<< I can't stand you blooding.>> blooding => bleeding
disappeared in hedgehog's eyes. => disappeared in the hedgehog's eyes.

"Please turn back." ==> Please leave him alone.
turn back = 向后转; leave him alone = 离开他

Answer 3

可以用易改试试
智能地进行英语文本纠错（拼写、语法、样式和句子不完整）
百度下易改就有了

Answer 4

very good, you are English genius