急需初中5人10分钟英语幽默话剧（附翻译），一天之内！

Question

如题，好的追加20分

Answer 1

三打白骨精

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：
T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精
B1：B变成的村姑
B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,boss (凑近T)………
（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk
on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some
food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)
音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(
泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)
（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）
《人鬼情未了》

J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
T: Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）
You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住
T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)
（音乐响）
《敢问路在何方》
（这个放伴奏）

(谢幕)

Answer 2

公园记
A(衣衫褴褛） B（衣着光鲜） C小花 E椅子 F新闻记者
B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前。
A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。A:Sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to die.
B：（厌恶）让开，让开。B:Get away,get away,dirty man.（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E上头了）
A：先生，先生。A:Sir,sir!!（A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B）
B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了。B:Run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,either（看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了）
A：可……先生……您听我说…… A:But....sir....please listen to me.....（仍拉着B衣服的后摆）

B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！B:Wa,why are you so disgusting!!（还是没有回头看A一眼）
C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？C:Hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.
E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~E:Ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.
（与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。）
E：先生！你的钱包丢了！你怎么这么傻啊。E:Sir!you lost your wallet!Can't you be more clever?（A与B同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子E，吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的F看见了。于是F就报道了这一事件。）
F：大家好，我是新闻记者F，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。F:Good morning,everybody.I'm a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint. Now,I will intenview the two nozzy man.
B：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。B:Wo,my god,wo,my,mum.
F：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他的钱包丢了？F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad.We needn't take notice of him.Let me interview the other man,Hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet?
A：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲……A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in English......
F：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。是吗，椅子？F:Dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us. Is that all right,chair?
E：是啊，是啊。E:Yes,yes.（E傻傻地拼命点头）
C：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了。C:Ai,men is so silly.The chairs were fooled by them too.