你好在吗？帮我看一下这段话这样翻译有没有错误的地方好吗？

Question

我不是你第一个牵手的人;不是你第一个拥抱的人;
不是你第一个亲吻的人;不是你第一个拥有的人。
但希望我可以是你遇到痛苦第一个想倾诉的人;
是你遇到快乐第一个想分享的人;
是你遇到挫折第一个想能依靠的人;
是你今生以后第一个可以相伴的人.
I was not the first person hand in hand with you,neither the first in your arms,
I was not the first person you kissed,neither the first belonged to you,
But I hope that I can be the first listener when you are in sorrow,
the first you want to share your joy with,
the first you want to rely on when you are encountered with frustrations.

Answer 1

I am not the first one you walk hand in hand,
nor am I the first one you hold in a warm hug.
I am not the first one you kiss,
nor am I the first one you possess.
Nevertheless, (I hope) I am the first one you can confide to when you feel sad;
I am the first one you can share with when you feel fun,
I am the first one you can rely on when you feel frustrated.
And I am the first one to accompany you in the second half of your life.

追问

I am not the first one you walk hand in hand,
nor am I the first one you hold in a warm hug.
I am not the first one you kiss,
nor am I the first one you possess.
可不可以这样写啊：
I am not the first one you walk hand in hand,
I am not the first one you hold in a warm hug.
I am not the first one you kiss,
I am not the first one you possess.

追答

可以，不过单一的句式可能会显得单调、乏味。

来自：求助得到的回答

Answer 2

i am not the first hold your hands,
i am not the first hold you in arms,
i am no the first kissed you,
i am not the first own you,
but i hope i can be ,
the first you want to talk with when you are suffering,
the first you want to share with when you are happy,
the first you want to rely on when you are frustrated.
and ,
the last you will stay with in the rest of your life.

Answer 3

错大了，几乎每句都有问题～你是想写情书还是做改错题啊～