修改一下英语作文

Question

My favourite great book is Three Days to See written by Helen Keller. This book impressed me. It told me how lucky we are. Helen had a serious illness when she was nineteen months. Although she survived from the illness, she was unable to see and hear. She was in a fret at the beginning. But with the help of Sullivan , she surmounted the difficulties .At last, she became a successful person.

My favourite scene in the book is when Helen imagined three days to see. She said “Oh, how many things I can see if I had the power of sight for just three days!”we can see, how precious it was for Helen Keller. But , I think that people can realize the importance of the sight and sound only after they have personally expericenced the dark and silence life.

Helen is the hero of the story, but there are other important characters. Sullivan is a patient teacher and she gave her love to Helen, she let Helen have confidence and help her get out of darkness days.

The themes of the book are to do with persistence and life. It describes
how Helen spent the dark and silence life. Finally, it talks about the meaning of life and how to spend our life meaningful.

帮我改一下。什么语病 用词不当 格式 之类的
有什么可以改的。都没关系，

只要你认为可以改进的。都可以说。

什么句式，内容。都可以

我希望能让这篇文章更好

Answer 1

才看到楼主的话，既然这样说，我又做了许多修改，添加了一些高级句型，在文章中以数字一一说明。

总体来说这篇读后感写的很好，只有一些小问题，多属于时态方面和细节方面的。我稍微做了一些修改和润色。
一楼说的也很好，但是楼主只让修改这篇文章的语病，我就这样做了，如果有问题，还可私聊。
My favourite great book is Three Days to See written by Helen Keller. This book impressed me（1）. It told me how lucky we are. Helen had a serious illness when she was nineteen months. Although she survived from the illness, she was unable to see and hear. She was in a fret at the beginning. But with the help of Sullivan , she surmounted the difficulties .At last, she became a successful person（2）.

My favourite scene in the book is when Helen imagined three days to see（3）. She said “Oh, how many things I can see if I had the power of sight for just three days!”we can see, how precious it was for Helen Keller （4）. But （5）, I think that people can realize the importance of the sight and sound only after they have personally expericenced the dark and silence life（6）.

Helen is the hero of the story, but there are （7）other important characters. Sullivan is a patient teacher （8）and she gave her love to Helen（9）, she let Helen have confidence and help her get out of darkness days（10）.

The themes of the book are to do with persistence and life（11）. It describes how Helen spent the dark and silence life（12）. Finally, it talks about the meaning of life and how to spend our life meaningful（13）.

1 impressed me后面加上a lot，更好，还有时态有点问题，改为一般现在时。
2 became a successful person后面加上who was worth others' respect，值得别人的尊敬。
3 imagined three days to see后面改为imagined that she had three days to see
4 这里最好补充说明一下为什么很珍贵，我加上了if she realized that dream如果她实现了那个梦想
5 这里没有转折关系，改为After finishing reading this book，读完这本书后
6 the dark and silence life改为the darkness and silence of life生命中的黑暗和寂静
7 other改为some other一些其它的
8 Sullivan is a patient teacher 改为Sullivan was a patient teacher ，时态问题
9 she gave her love to Helen改为she lavished affection on Helen，她对海伦倾注了所有的爱
10 and help her get out of darkness days.改为and helped her get out of dark days.
11这句话略显平淡，我改成A theme of persistence and life is proposed in this boook.这本书揭示了恒心和人生的主题。
12the dark and silence life改为the dark and silent life，这样不与上文重复
13最后一句是收尾，需是点睛之笔，我改成I appreciate Hellen Keller. Her life is a miracle, she stronly face the difficulties which can detroy one’s mind of living. Her life is a tragedy, but the world in her heart is full of love. Her spirit will encourage all of us, forever.

改过的文章如下：
My favourite great book is Three Days to See written by Helen Keller. This book impresses me a lot. It tells me how lucky we are. Helen had a serious illness when she was nineteen months. Although she survived from the illness, she was unable to see and hear. She was in a fret at the beginning. But with the help of Sullivan , she surmounted the difficulties .At last, she became a successful person who was worth others' respect.

My favourite scene in the book is when Helen imagined that she had three days to see. She said “Oh, how many things I can see if I had the power of sight for just three days!”we can see, how precious it was for Helen Keller if she realized that dream. After finishing reading this book, I think that people can realize the importance of the sight and sound only after they have personally expericenced the darkness and silence of life.

Helen is the hero of the story, but there are some other important characters. Sullivan was a patient teacher and she lavished affection on Helen, and she let Helen have confidence and helped her get out of dark days.

A theme of persistence and life is proposed in this boook. It describes how Helen spent the dark and silent life. I appreciate Hellen Keller. Her life is a miracle, she stronly face the difficulties which can detroy one’s mind of living. Her life is a tragedy, but the world in her heart is full of love. Her spirit will encourage all of us forever.

祝楼主进步！
要是答案还满意的话，记得采纳哦，O(∩_∩)O谢谢~！

Answer 2

My favourite great book is Three Days to See written by Helen Keller. This book impresses me a lot（加上a lot）. It tells(told改为tells) me how lucky I am（we are改为I am，与宾语me一致）. Helen had a serious disease（illness改为disease。某种具体的病要用disease） when she was nineteen months. Although she survived（from the illness删去）, she was no longer （un）able to see or （and改为or）hear. She was in a fret at the beginning. But with the help of Sullivan , she surmounted the difficulties .At last,she became a successful person.

My favourite scene in the book is when Helen imagined three days to see. She said “Oh, how many things I can see if I had the power of sight for just three days!”we can see, how precious it was for Helen Keller. But , I think that people can realize the importance of the sight and sound only after they have personally expericenced a（the改为a）dark and silent（silence改为silent）life.

Helen is the hero of the story, but there are other important characters. Sullivan is one of them（加上此句以承上启下）。She is a patient teacher and she gives（gave改为gives）her love to Helen.She lets（加s）Helen have confidence and helps her（help sb out of...就行了.get删去）out of dark(ness days删去).

The theme（单数即可）of the book is（are改为is；to do with删去，直接用persistence and life做表语）persistence and life. It tells readers（desribes改为tells）how Helen spends the dark and silent life and what（Finally, it talks about删去）the meaning of life is。（and how to spend our life meaningful显得累赘，删去。It's well worth reading.(结尾加上It's well worth reading)

（附言：楼主的读后感写得很好，很流畅，通顺。个别语句已作修改，供你参考。祝你进步！）

修改后的全文如下：
My favourite great book is Three Days to See written by Helen Keller. This book impresses me a lot.It tells me how lucky I am. Helen had a serious disease when she was nineteen months. Although she survived，she was no longer able to see or hear. She was in a fret in the beginning. But with the help of Sullivan , she surmounted the difficulties .At last,she became a successful person.

My favourite scene in the book is when Helen imagined three days to see. She said “Oh, how many things I can see if I had the power of sight for just three days!”we can see, how precious it was for Helen Keller. But , I think that people can realize the importance of the sight and sound only after they have personally expericenced a dark and silent life.

Helen is the hero of the story, but there are other important characters. Sullivan is one of them.She is a patient teacher and gives her love to Helen, she lets Helen have confidence and helps her out of dark.

The theme of the book is persistence and life. It tells readers how Helen spends the dark and silent life and what the meaning of life is.It's well worth reading.

Answer 3

有几段中she的主语次数出现太多，影响读下来的感觉。

第三段中，你的原句是“Sullivan is a patient teacher and she gave her love to Helen”后面半句有重复，应该是“she gave her love”或“she gave love to Helen”

我认为你写的时候，似乎花太多笔墨去介绍这本书，如果是读后感就有些不符合规格要求。但如果只是单纯介绍书的话，还是不错的。

句式也不够丰富。

但这也是我的个人意见，希望你的英语能更好。